Thursday, May 8, 2008

Creepy horny mother fuckers

Below is a growing collection of creepy fucking people hitting on yours truly and friends through myspace email. Everyone on myspace falls victim to these sad sad attempts sooner or later, so I thought instead of just ignoring and deleting these idiots...I would post their lame shit here for all to point and laugh at....click their names at the end....you can check them out for yourself...


From Matt....he's a guy in high demand...so much so that if he posts a pic...someone's gonna steal it....asshole.


I was browsing and I saw your profile and I knew i had to talk to you.. You seem like a really cool girl. You look very cute!! Random Fact About Me: You might find this weird but um.. I like it when a girl farts.. I really don't know why.. LoL.. You look like you would be a cool girl to talk to!!!TTYL! So anyway's what's up???here's my pic.. :D if i put my pics up, they get stolen.. period. :( here i am okay.... lol i just hosted it just s you could look at me http://tinypic.com/im3x1w.jpg now! I am a guy who believes that girls these days are treated like shit. Guys these days are absolutely pathetic in their treatment of girls and I bet you will agree.. TTYL! :D Do you have aim or something that I can im you at?? I'd love to chat with you. I added u as a friend!

-
Matt




I bet Mike's a poet...he made my sister swoon with this....jackass.


can I just tell you how much I would love to lay you down on a bed and slowly slide your legs wide open. kissing and sucking my way up your legs from your knees to your inner thighs. not missing a single inch of your body....then I would love to slowly slide my tounge across your dripping wet pussy. gently pushing deep inside you.............I'll tell you the rest later :P


- http://www.myspace.com/callerman">Mike



Jimmy's new in town....too bad I'm not in to serial killers....fuckhole.


HOW ARE YOU I JUST ARRIVED IN TOWN FROM NY AND IM VERY BORED, UNTIL I FIND PLCE TO LIVE IM STAYING IN A HOTEL I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER AND MAYBE SHOW ME AROUND TOWN
HOPE TO HERE FROM YOU SOON


-JIMMY


Spontaneus? Hey Dave, hows about I smash your face in?...dumbass.


Hey sexy, well I hope you had a good Monday..any plans tonight or can you be somewhat spontaneous?


-David


Rob's a moron...stupid fuck.


Hi there,
How are you? Doing ok or boring, if you are boring and i am boring too and if you like and we can make some plan to evening or tomorrow, if you please reply me back.


-Rob


David takes the suave approach.....dipshit.


hey whats up i wanna fuck you till i make you bleed!


-David


Kevin is a man of few words....at least he has that going for him....tool.


hello sexy!!!!!!!!!


-Kevin


Hey Jimmy...got a live one for ya!...Adam's new in town too!....go fuck yourself.


i'm in dallas for the week and would love to meet a new friend and you seem like a good one!


-ADAM

Ol' DJ Diddles is stealin' my man Mike's material.....jackoff.

do u realize how fuckin hot u are, ur tits, ur ass, ur face ur fuckin perfect... I would put my mouth over ur beautiful pussy and start to hum.. and start to write the abc's on ur clitty, occasionally stopping to nibble on ur button and stickin my toungue in ur steeming cunt, while my left hand moves around on ur tits and my right hand play with ur asshole get my 9 in cock out and fuck u until u can't orgasm any more

-DJ Diddles



DJ Diddles was donated by the fuckin hot and perfect Amy....


Chono can't spell.....word moron.


AMY ITS LIKE I JUST SENT A REQUEST...I DONT MINDZ IF U DISS ME...BUT I JUSS WANNA SAY I DIGZ UR PAGE...U SEEM LIKE I BAD ASS GOTHIC BABE...EVEN UR HEAD LINES TITE!!
HOPE U DONT HATE ON ME PEACE!!!


-Chono Brown


My man Scott was going for the Creepy Hall of Fame with this one....shitstain.


The eyes of a cat


Cornered, you sit, eyes purring.
Im trapped. Trapped in time, your time; stunned.
Sucking in air, i taste your scent on my lips.
The scent of a woman; scent of passion; of lust.
Blood thrashes through me.
Flashing through tight veins, thundering in my ears.
Banging my body hard, banging my body fast.

On closing my eyes, you wrap your beauty around me.
Drawing me deep within you.
I acquiesce.
I belong to you.
I am yours.
Taken.

A chance Encounter

Your smooth skin wrapped in linen, kissed with satin. Your every pulse caressing me, your feline eyes, eyes so beautiful, eyes that see inside me, eyes I can no longer avoid. There is no escape. I am taken.

In my minds silence, gently, slowly - like a warm summers breeze - my fingers caress your satin covered flower, your scent kissing my fingers, your petals open as I guide my gentle, but firm, fingers slowly and quietly again and again and again, smoothly, gently, slowly hypnotising your eyes, your body, your being, youre mine. Your body is reaching out to be held; to be used, to be loved. Purring eyes roll as my lips taste your scent, and my tongue traces the form of your now wet and swollen petals. My fingers ease the black satin aside. I kiss your bud. You are in bloom as I caress you again and again and again. Waves of energy speed through your body as your breathing quickens. Your hands search for reality, your body, your mind, your soul depart this, our earth. I draw in more of your nectar. My blood flows, my stem hard, I release it from white cotton. Your flower awaits me, as I ease myself inside you. I stop. Still. No movement of muscle. You feel my blood thunder on your petals, swollen and moist. I remain still. We feel. Feel our energy together. you push your tender, aching body towards me, I pull back gently, slowly. You can still feel my blood pulsating, as I feel yours. Our scent is enveloping us, intoxicating us. Both desperate for breath, we draw in love-tainted air as I thrust my being deep within you and stop. Your eyes open. I search inside them. Our lips, moist and swollen. Arms are locked. We are one.


-Scotstoy was another generous donation from Amy's archives...unfortunatly his profile has been deleted....probably banned for creepy lameness.



Ryan's a man of few words...if only he could stop talking completely I wouldn't want to kick the shit out of him....suckass.

can i c ur titties

">Ryan


Ryan was donated by Bridget with the nice titties.


Stephen tried to take the sly approach and make Bridget think she'd already made friends with him...nice try...didn't work asshole.

Hey, what's up for your Friday night? I'm just playing around for a bit and gettin' a little rest, before going out. haha :)

-Stephen

Ooh Barrett's a clever one...see how he said "cum" instead of "come"....he's got the subliminal thing going on....maybe next time he can insert something subtle that doesn't make him look like a complete jackass....fucking derp.

Hey you look sexy as fuck in that nurse outfit.. and you live close to me. Maybe i could cum see you in that dress and those stockings ;)

-Barrett

Another gem from the sexy as fuck Bridget.

Dave here really knows how to sell himself.....looking for the immediate serious relationship, marriage, baggage, and he's not as young as he used to be....all that on top of his sharp writing skills....get in line ladies!

how are u. i am david, new to the net, nice meet u, u are the first person i am talking you.

hope to know u more. i am looking for a serious relationship, that will lead to marriage,

i am not here for games or play, i havre gone through alot, and now i am getting old.

if u are serious and matured pls contact me

-Dav

Denise is not ready for marriage with a complete South African stranger so she contributed this little jewel.

Hey Ruben....shut the fuck up......idiot.

damn girl i just cant get over how sxy you are. fuck you look so freakin delicious i just wanna eat you *wink* *wink*
mmm.... i could do so much to you

-Ruben

Natalie had the pleasure of Ruben's warm wishes....lucky girl.

Harry here, is a salesman...he's also a piece of shit that needs to be driven out to the country and left for dead.

do u want full body masage plus 60 bucks its totoly free?

--Harry


Sure Tony....I like to play...how about a game called "Kick in the balls, hot poker up your ass"....eat shit asshole.

HELLO HOW ARE YOU DOING ??? JUST BROWSING AND WANTED TO SAY HI. I LIVE IN IRVING AND WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOUR HERE TO PLAY OR FOR FRIENDS ONLY ?? YOU LOOK VERY CUTE AND IF YOU LIKE I CAN E-MAIL YOU A PIC OF MYSELF !! JUST LET ME KNOW. BYE FOR NOW

P.S. DO YOU HAVE YAHOO INSTANT MESSAGING, IF SO WE CAN CHAT IF YOU LIKE MY SCREENNAME IS big_a732000 IF YOU HAVE YAHOO OK

--Tony

Ol' Yummie is everything I want in a man...he's direct and straight to the point...yet he has a creative flare...see how he chose to stack his words....die you creative fuck.

Do

You

Like

To

Fuck

?

--Yummie

Yummie is still waiting on an answer from Natalie.

Hey Kenny....get back on the boat....creepy fuck.

hi,
it true i have trying to communicate with you, you will find it funnying becos this guy i dont know him, it like you the lady of my dream, the queen that capture my heart, the first day we wanted to chat , ma compauter development, since i check your profile,what i find out about really touch my heart, you are a differect lady.you are angel,do you know,you smile,eyes,skin,differect from the people i have met.am sorry i didn't tell you about my self. am kenny adegbayibi, male/singel,am a manager of a company,am into infromation techonlogy.i belive in what i do, i put God first in eveything in life bcos is everything in my life and people life with out him we nobody. am caring, nice,smart,loving, take thing easy as it come.i will really want to know you, if you want to get me you can get me in updatekenny02@yahoo.com,updatekenny02@hotmail.com,kennyadegbayibi@yahoo.com.i do belive you are the lady i want if you give me time to prove my self. well hope to see you soon
bye
luv
kenny

--
Kenny

Kenny was donated by the lucky dream lady...the queen of heart capturing...Natalie...she gets all the good ones.

2 comments:

Toni said...

I just had to comment on this one! I got this one from "jake", notice the total and utter lack of spelling:
"i now u dont now me that wale but can i call u and we can more"

I'm not even sure what that means.

and this one from "joe":

"will you talk sexy with me plz"

and the BEST one of all time from Glenn:

" Hi Sweetheart, how are you? I know it sounds a little contrived but I don't usually do this. After reading your words i feel a little sense of joy that there are good souls still out there. You sound like an old fashioned girl that is looking for mutual respect and a little loyalty, which to me are probably the two most important qualities in a friendship. You talk of having strong morals, which is something I pride myself on. I don't know if you checked my profile before reading this, but I have a keen interest in philosophy. I hope one day to touch some people on such a level that they find a mutual goal of peace and hopefully try to restore peoples faith in humanity, because after all we are all born innocent and free. I have a lot to talk about when it comes to people so maybe we will speak soon about that.

To tell you a little about myself, I am shy, but confidence comes to me when I am at ease with the company before me. Although, in some respects, my confidence may be lacking slightly at the minute, I know what I want in life and I am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve this. I don't want the girls wanting me for one night, or the endless empathy for what I do, I want a woman who see's me for what I am and accepts me regardless of my faults. A perfect unity of two souls floating endlessly in the clouds while two feet are placed firmly on the ground. You know the kind of thing that makes you dizzy, sad, happy, joyful, pain-stricken and elated all in one. I'm not sure I know what it feels like yet but I believe my time is coming and I will welcome it with caution.

I mentioned that people empathise for what I do. I am a single father of 1, which is very daunting for prospective girlfriend, but I am happy doing this and know that under my guidance she will grow up to respect people, use their manners properly and appreciate life to its fullest. The one thing I am very strict with is ethics. If I cannot live to the rules of life then how can those who look up to me for guidance? She have lived with me for two years now and we have a good life going together, so whatever happens when I am chosen for love can be built around what already is.

All in all, I would say I enjoy my life, but there is something missing to bridge my world together. I don't take matters of the heart too lightly, nor should I, so anyone who would like to get to know me needs to know that I will not compromise myself until I am ready to do so and expect others to do the same in return. For all that words can say, I am true to myself and true to those who deserve it. Most importantly, I am true to life and accepting of the consequence of choice, so therefore the one i choose will be everlasting.

I hope that what I say doesn't scare you off, and that you are true to your words. After all, there are not many spirits left in the world that are worth the effort of putting my heart into writing for, but the way you describe what you want has moved me in way not seen before online. You truly sound like one of God's creations... I read through your profile and it was lovely. I would love to know you more, the kind of person you are and what is that one thing that gets you attracted to, and you really love in a Guy. As for me most of it are already on my profile.... but i will like to add that i want a woman who knows how to treat a guy, please can you tell how you treat a guy?. feel free to email me to gdaniel2943@yahoo. com or send me an IM on yahoo instant messenger, my ID is gdaniel2943. Awaiting to read from you"

WTF is wrong is these people?

Later, Toni

sosaysme said...

It's amazing how someone so sincere and deep as Glenn hasn't found that lucky lady yet...what an asswhip.